Stuck in the Waiting Room of Your Own Life? Here’s How to Move

You know you need to change something. The universe is practically shouting at you. So why the hell can't you just move?

I'm going to be really honest with you today because recently, one of the women in my Turning Community posted something so raw and vulnerable that I had to turn my response into a full podcast episode (and now this blog post).

She's 32, working in law, and she said something that stopped me in my tracks: "I'm basically now bored of my own shit."

God, I felt that.

She's spent five years on what she calls a "safe but unaligned path." Rock bottom after rock bottom. Stuck in a job she hates. A difficult breakup with nothing since. Watching friends move forward while she feels frozen. Health issues. Loss. Loneliness.

And she knows something needs to change. She's done the therapy. The exercises. The work. But she keeps coming back to the same pattern: lack of clarity, therefore inaction.

Does this sound familiar? Because if you're reading this and nodding along, this one's for you.

Why We Get Stuck (Even When We Know Better)

Let's talk about why you can't move, even when every fiber of your being is telling you it's time.

The Fear of Uncertainty

Here's the truth: your brain absolutely loves certainty. We all want to know with 100% confidence that the next step we take is the RIGHT step. We crave the control that we know we won't have if we just leap into the unknown.

But what if I told you that the uncertainty is actually the beauty of it all?

What if the uncertainty is the invitation to surrender into something different and to trust that the future version of you will know what to do when she gets there?

You Don't Trust Your Future Self

This is huge. We have this massive distrust of the future version of ourselves. We don't believe that the version of us in two months, two years, or ten years will know how to cope with adversity, with uncertainty, with fear.

But think about it. You're here right now, reading this, showing up for yourself, doing the work. Why on earth wouldn't the future version of you be fully equipped to handle whatever comes her way?

She will. And leaning into that trust is what's going to help you take those next steps.

You're Waiting for Someone to Save You

I'm going to say this with so much love: Nobody is coming to save you.

I know. It's harsh. But it's also liberating.

You're like one of those teddy bears in the arcade claw machine, sitting in the glass box waiting for the universe to come pick you up. But those games are designed so you never win. The claw comes close, circles around you, maybe even lifts you slightly before dropping you back down.

That's the universe signalling you. But it's not going to pick you up and move you. You have to climb out of that box yourself.

The Truth About Failure (That Nobody Tells You)

Here's my reframe for you: You're probably going to fail. So accept it as part of the process.

I know, I know. We're in our thirties. We feel like we should have it all figured out by now. But that's absolute bulls**t.

We're no longer in the era where you get one job and stay there until retirement. It's completely normal now to try things, pivot, say "that was great for my twenties but I'm in a new era now," and do something completely different.

Maybe it's a step back to take two steps forward. Maybe you take two steps forward and then a big step back. Let's embrace the zigzag. Let's embrace the fact that the more we fail, the more we learn. And the more we learn, the better we become.

My Rock Bottom Story

I've been exactly where you are. When I was working in corporate sponsorships for medical events around my 30th birthday, I was burnt out, constantly sick, traveling every month, and absolutely miserable.

I remember being on a plane to Barcelona for a conference with a terrible UTI, dripping in sweat with a fever. My toxic CEO told me we'd still be working that night. And I finally said no.

That night, feverish in a hotel room, I realized I was at rock bottom. I was doing something I didn't want to do just because I didn't know what else to do. Because I was afraid of the uncertainty. Fearful of failing at something new.

The universe kept signaling me, but I had to be the one to take the steps.

Life Meets You at the Level of Your Audacity

I read this quote by Case Kenny recently and it stopped me in my tracks: "Life meets you at the level of your audacity."

The more audacious you are, the more you're going to be rewarded in life. You have to be audacious to live a vibrant life.

We can absolutely choose to stay in the overthinking, the overanalyzing, the comfort zone. But our life will reflect that choice.

The more audacious you are, the more courageous you are, the more your life will change to be aligned with what you actually want.

Your "Comfort Zone" Isn't Actually Comfortable

Here's the thing that kills me: you're avoiding getting out of your comfort zone to take the next step. But where you are right now? That's not a comfort zone either.

Your current reality is SO uncomfortable that it's causing burnout, keeping you in a job you hate, stopping you from living where you want to live, preventing you from booking that flight to have an experience that could bring you massive growth.

You're so nervous about a worst-case scenario. But right now? This IS your worst-case scenario. Being stuck.

And the only person who's going to unstick you is you.

What to Do Next (Actually Practical Steps)

Option 1: Just Do the Thing

Book the flight. Set the date. Quit the job. Just do it. Stop waiting.

Get into what I call the "one life mentality." You only have one experience of being in this life, in this body. Time is running out. What are you waiting for?

Option 2: Set a Timeline

If you're not quite ready for the bold leap, give yourself a deadline. "I'm giving myself until January 1st, and if things haven't aligned by then, I'm booking the flight." Or "When my lease is up, instead of re-signing, I'm making the move."

I'm not a huge fan of this one (I prefer Option 1), but I understand not everyone is as audacious as me. Yet.

Option 3: Get the Ball Rolling

Book the flight for later in the year. Start saving. Speak it out loud. Take tangible steps that give you no choice but to move forward.

The Chair Analogy

I'll leave you with this: imagine you're sitting in a chair. Your hands are gripping the seat. You know all you need to do is stand up.

But your brain is keeping you stuck. Your thoughts, beliefs, and fears are making your hands grip deeper and deeper into the sides of that chair, not allowing you to stand.

I'm giving you permission today to just stand.

Stop waiting for somebody to come yank you out of that chair. Get out of the chair yourself.

You Only Have One Life

Ask for what you want. Say it out loud. "I want to be more free. I don't want to be a lawyer anymore. I want to go to Australia. I want to meet new people. I want to travel. I want to live by the sea."

Then don't hesitate to go get it.

You are the creator of your own turning points. The turning points aren't just going to come. You're going to have to go out and get them.

The universe is screaming at you. It's time to listen.

Want to be surrounded by other women who are making big, bold moves in their thirties? Join the waitlist for the Turning Community here. Doors open October 4th.

Listen to the full podcast episode here.

Follow me on Instagram @turning30coach for daily doses of real talk and encouragement.